Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
