The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
