he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
