I don't think brook has ever known best
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I don't deserve a penis
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
