i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
