YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
and she was petting her beer can
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
