we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Damn victory sex feels great
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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