Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize