Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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