Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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