'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just invented taco cereal.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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