I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
