Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize