so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize