why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
