i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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