She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize