U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize