I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
