So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
