So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
