I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize