This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
