i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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