Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize