I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
