FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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