he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
