walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
