well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
