New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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