It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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