you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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