Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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