The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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