you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
