She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
