Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
