Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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