if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
