i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
