I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
