Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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