no, he came in my armpit
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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