does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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