WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i need some magic done to my vagina
Randomize
