You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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