i think my mom watched the whole time
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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