Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
