Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
