used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
