Dual....:-)
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
