I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
