I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
