How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
