You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize