I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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