do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
