Its about making memories worth repressing
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
