Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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